I was 6 when it began... I know my age, because I know how I looked, that I was starting school...it lasted for 3 years... I guess he started to worry that I might KNOW it's wrong and tell someone.....The abuse altered the innocent, childhood journey that ALL children should have. When no one was hurting me anymore, I found ways to hurt myself...BUT, I could never hurt myself as much as I hurt inside... So, I chose boys and men to hurt me as much as I hurt... THEY, were very good at it (someone taught them well). I felt "alive" yet dead with them... the boys or men were the "bad boys" or the "sexy" ones... Being abused by them hurt so that was "love" right? Because when I was 6, I learned that, someone taught me well, love and pain go together. He "owned" me, that made me so happy because that meant I was worth "owning"... but being "owned" came with a HUGE price..... that price ended up costing me my spirit, soul, and worse yet, it altered my own innocent children's path....
An excerpt from "No Longer Silent"
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